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*` my little hideaway
♥
last night was the night.i had to make my decision firm.though it hurt really badly.but there was nothing else i can do.everyone around me kept reminding me how stupid i amto cry for a guy like him.everyone just kept asking me end it once and for all.honestly..i didnt know what to do when ppl asked to end it.cause deep inside of me.i know i still have feelings for him.but..its becoming a one sided thing.so i guess we arent meant to be.though the times i was in pain was more than the times i had happiness.i still wanna keep the happy memories in me.the scars on my wrist.reminds me not to commit the same mistakes again.i will try to stay strong.and move on in life.i'll just pray..he'll be happier without me.he'll be able to do whatever he wants now.without having to worry how i feel no more.today at the last minute.i decided not to go to party anymore.cause im still not ready to let someone else into my heart yet.its still wounded.and i dont wanna add more pain onto it.but i went out with this indo guy today.
he was nice and all that.
he had a hot body though.X)i guess i would just move on with life.i shall not get depressed over one guy.there's many out there(:and thanks to william and sien.they are always there for me.when i needed someone.esp william..try to making laugh and all that.thanks.and thanks to aniela and yoyo too.for lending me a shoulder when i was crying.and reminding me that there are much more in life than love.like what my sister always tells me.never regret..always take things as a lesson. never try..never know.i'll forever remember that.and even jeff doesnt care bout me anymore.im happy enough that my friends still does.and so does my sis.but the last few days.it was really a living hell for me.the pain was so overwhelming..that i wanted to die so badly.cause i just cldnt handle it.he's there having fun.not giving a damn about me.when im at his place.wishing he was back.sigh.and today.when i was alone at his place.while his bro and his bro's gf was out.i was smoking outside his backyard.and i remembered those times.when we were playing outside.when he tried to splash water on me.and tried pushing me into the pool.it just tore my heart apart.and recently.i hardly ate anything.i dont know why.but i just didnt have the appetite.and i cant sleep.i had to cry myself to sleep.its a living hell man.guess what i need is time.ive fallen.and now its time to stand up on my feet once again.i'll be strong.and i know i can do it((:everythings gonna be alright.there will be a day.when i get to smile once again.
- its pain that makes a person stronger.
6:03 PM
